he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My ass is underappreciated
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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