quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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