Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i think i have two assholes
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
