He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
