You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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