U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
