his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
