This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
