well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
