I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
True college students do jello shots in the library
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
