Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
