is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
