Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
