If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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