But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
