And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Please don't give away my fajitas
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
