absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
