i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize