He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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