Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
