Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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