yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
There's always time for handjobs
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
