I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
