is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize