Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
