new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize