Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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