i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
