everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize