Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize