So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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