i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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