I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
