I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
time to smoke my breakfast
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
