Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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