Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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