i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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