I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
