WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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