This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Are we still banned from the library?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
do nipples grow back?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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