life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
