Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
