Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i dont even know how to be here
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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