i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
