Say something about gay babies.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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