i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
