Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize