I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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