it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
