I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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