I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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