Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize