Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush

(703): View more from Virginia

Ew, did you brush them again?

(301): View more from Maryland

Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure

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(314): View more from Missouri

So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.

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(469): View more from Texas

on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?

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